CEREBRAL REGURGITATION I

I've been single now for well over a year and a half..ish..give or take a few months.  And...I've come to realize that "culturally"...the dating scene is way different here in GA than in CA.  And...I'm not willing...or able...to adjust to the GA process.  More so...not willing.   Funny thing is;  I have quite a few Ex's that would love for Us to...make another go at a relationship but with "some"...the sting...is still felt.  Kinda like...having a nice home that catches on fire. Sure..you can rebuild using some of the old material...but its still gonna have that..."odd smell" about it.  haha

I think a lot of folks that give themselves to GOD yet..again...expect for all the bullshit in their lives to instantly go away....just because they are now...reborn.  Welll...you may be reborn in spirit...but this ole world??? yeah...it hasn't changed and it really don't give a flying shit...about you.  Just because you embrace GOD yet..again...don't mean the World won't get all up in that ass.  haha

Last Friday I had a lunch date with an acquaintance...and half way into the meal... I wanted to like...do her on the table with everyone watching. 

Still...no flying cars.

A scientist said that Angels can't have wings as shown in most paintings because wings in that position on the body will not promote lift and also..the human body is far too heavy for wings to cause flight.  Ummmm....HELLOOOOO...these are ANGELS.  Human logic does not apply ass wipe.  I tell ya...Man can be sooooo...one dimensional in his thinking.

I've been living by Myself for so long...I don't think I can share My surroundings with someone for more than 4 days before I'll want to strangle them in their sleep.  My.."space" has become...My security blanket.

If I were to enter into a relationship...more folks would be against it..than for it.  I know...thats some crazy shit.

Every day...hundreds and hundreds of folks die. I wonder if you have to wait in a long ass line to get past the gates of heaven?  Take a number?  Will you get into trouble if you...cut in line?  What if...you have to pee.  Can you leave the line and get back into your original place? 

Its easy to have random, meaningless sex.  Its hard to find the 'RIGHT' random, meaningless sex. 

And finally.....

2012 is a comin.  Now...either all this hoopla is about nothing...or....some crazy shit is about to jump off.  Either way....I wanna be fuckin on the eve...of the day...of destruction. haha.

Fin

THE PATH OF JOB

I often identify Myself with Job.  If there is someone who doesn't know the story, Job..was a faithful servant of God and God allowed Satan...to curse Job to see if Job..would curse God (in a nut shell). 

Job had it all.  Wealth, Land, a Large loving family...Good health.  Over many years....Satan..took all that away from Job.  Even...covering Job's body with sores and boils.  And thru all that misery and pain and loss...Job never cursed God.  "The Lord Giveth...The Lord Taketh away..Blessed be the Name of the Lord."

And when it was all over.. God Blessed Job with more..that was taken away. 

Well...I was having a life of luxury. I wanted for nothing.  I was carefree.  Then...one day in 2000, it all changed.  I had moved back to My hometown of Oakland, CA.  I was working a dream job with Charles Schwab Investments.  I was making plans on settling in...and doin big thangs. 

Then....

I wake up one morning...and I can't put any pressure on My left foot.  I'm talking...major pain.  I'm on crutches for 8 months and no one can tell Me what's going on with My foot.  My truck was a stick..so pressing the clutch..was beyond painful.  I had to take BART to San Francisco on crutches and a cam walker boot.  It was difficult to say the least...but I held strong.

Then...it got worse.  I missed more days from work.  And...contrary to popular belief...if you can't make rent..compassion...is not in the landlords vocabulary. Soo...I'm about to lose..a lot.

And..I end up staying with someone I thought..was being genuine in helping..but they had another agenda.

Then...I find I have..Charcot–Marie–Tooth disease. Despite the name...its an affliction of the foot.  I was told I wouldn't walk normal again.  I'd forever need a Cane or Walker.  And...I eventually..was confined to a Wheelchair for 5.5 months. ( It was then I found out streets weren't level...and folks don't give a shit about you being in a wheelchair when trying to cross the street)

I kinda sunk into depression...but I never...NEVER blamed God for My situation.  Then one day...I got up from that wheelchair.  I got a jump for My truck..and I got out..and I started to push Myself.  I wasn't gonna let this situation beat Me.

And...from 2001..till 2010, I beat the odds.  Hell..once I moved here to GA...I even joined a Softball team and...I kinda sorta half ass ran. (which...was NOT supposed to be a reality).  Soooo..again..Life is good.  I'm making a good comeback...

and then....  2010....the same foot...acts up again. This time...so bad..two surgeries are needed.  And from that...another downward spiral.  4 Doctors said I should have the foot amputated...its gonna be a long painful life if I don't.

And...for a minute...I planned on doing so. But..something happend...and it didn't go down. 

Again.. can't work.  Again...pain.  Pain so bad...I'd sit up at night..and cry.  I even ... one night..prayed to go to sleep and not wake up.  But...I never...EVER...blamed God.

My income was cut substantially.  I had to go from...go out and buy when I wanted...to...budget and get the "wants"...when I can..if I can.  I had to deal with the fact that I may...lose My foot.

But..to see Me...to talk to Me...you'd never...ever...know it.  Cause...I never...Complained.

I went thru it.

I dealt with it.

I...prayed.

I...accepted that this..is the will of God.

Only persons who knew how bad it was...was My Brother and Sister in Law.  Otherwise...no one knew..the pain I was going thru.

Then...just as I got used to the pain.  The limping. The swollen ankle. 

It went away.  The swelling..got a lil better.

I was walking almost as normal..as I was..prior to the surgery.

Then...the financial situation .... got better.  A...LOT..better.

And yes..there are days when it flairs up...but it is in NO WAY..like it was.

Again...  I beat the odds.  I beat..the Doctors.

And...I'm thankful.

Cause...God...blessed Me...cause I never...complained to Him...for what He allowed Me to go thru.

So..it pains Me..It boggles My mind..when I read. When I hear...people complain about little things. 

If you can run.. Skip.  If you have food..any type of food in your house. Hell..if you have a HOUSE...no matter what the condition is.  If you have health...can see..can breathe normally.  If you have One Dollar on you right now.

SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

YOU..are blessed.

Sometimes folks wonder why they can't get from under the storm...its because you keep complaining about the storm.

If God puts you thru something.

Its for a reason.

From My experiences..

I am sooooo...much more THANKFUL for what I have.

I appreciate...LIFE...as a whole.

Life is soooo precious.

Life is soooo...beautiful.

And so many bitch and complain so much...

they can't see it...or appreciate it.

We ALL...are JOB.

We ALL...walk that PATH sometimes in our Lives.

Be thankful...

GOD FEELS....YOU CAN HANDLE THE ROLE...AND THE TEST.

E.

Ode to the DOPE FIEND

I smoke dope..so I can cope.

now the smoke is around My neck like
an invisible rope.

But I still smoke.

I still choke.

I keep swinging from that...

invisible rope.

I keep getting High..but its funny

I never...got no money.

But I stays elevated...

and when I don't get My dope...

I'm irritated.

I blame My momma and daddy for the things that I do...

and if I knew your name...I'd blame you too.

Cause its never because of Me.

Its God...People....and Society.

Sooo...I sits in the dark.

I sits in the park.

Feeling that rope around My neck as it gets
tight.

I'll be smokin tomorrow...

if I don't die....

tonight.

E.c. 10212011

E-ISM 2011

6'5 with brown eyes...

walked the earth
and watched the pyramids rise

the blind can see Me
cause I'm just like braile..

feel me.

You want to know but you're scared to ask
I keeps it real...don't hide behind no mask.

So...don't fear the Man..
Fear the Knowledge

I got more smarts than 100 years spent in college.

I'm a light...

But only a few can see My glow.

If you just open your mind...

you will soon know..

Its not hard to understand.
I'm just a simple Man

all apart...of GOD's master Plan.

I'm the fifth Letter

of the known Alphabet.

Knowing My wisdom, is a move you'll
never regret.

If you ride this train...

you'll feel joy..

you'll feel pain..

But there is one TRUTH of TRUTHS...

You'll want to ride this ride...

again

and

again

and...

again.

E.c.

10122011

DARKNESS LIGHT

In the Darkest of the Night, you..are My light. Our two bodies combine as One. Giving off so much heat...it would melt the Sun. Minutes become hours. Hours become Days. I know not the hours...because I'm hypnotised by your magical gaze. You reached beyond My Mind..and Entered My Soul. Your gravitational force...stronger than a newly born...Black Hole. In the Darkest of the Night...I see you...and your light. ~ E. Chrisentary 9/28/11

PARTICLE OF MIND

Ethereal thoughts of Earthly desires. 

Forged from the Elements of Earth, Wind, and Fire. 

Celestial Bodies with Universal Minds.

Always searching for something we'll never find. 

Wanting to touch GOD with invisble hands. 

Wanting to Fly like an Angel....forgetting we are merely..a Man. 

 A Multitude of One. 

Blinding the Mind like a Cerebral Sun. 

You'll never understand what you ALREADY know. 

Till you allow your Spirit to grow. 

Don't rush the process of Knowledge.

Allow it to penetrate your Mind...nice..and slow.

Each breath we take is a step toward Death. 

That's why while here on Earth..you should strive to do your best. 

Cause in the End. 

You'll be back to where your life begins. 

Particles in the air. 

Here.

There.

Every..where.

  ~ E. 9.4.11

NASTY (VERY ADULT IN NATURE)

I would wear a gasoline suit in hell...for just one smell...of that fat juicy pussy.

Crawl butt ass naked on glass...just to lick the crack of that ass...and taste last...nights dinner.

I would slap Satan up side the head....just to lay next to you in a Bed...of rose petals and cum.

Cause you do things to My soul. I feel Myself losing control.

You sexy ass delicious piece of meat....you got Me in heat...wanting to...cum all over your face while you sleep.

I fear if I smell it. I'll climb the hightest Mountain and tell it.

So the whole Universe will know...

How you make My dick grow.

And if you didn't...

now you know.

you sexy ass Hoe.

and I'm out. (drops Mic...walks off stage.

E. 9.2.11