EARLY MORNING MADNESS

Its 418 in the morning and she's on My mind.  All that's in My mind right now is holding her in My arms.  Smelling her neck.  Sucking on her ear lobes.  Feeling the warmth of her body next to mine.

I wonder....

What it would be like.... sitting at a resturant having dinner.  Watching her sexy lips move as she tells Me about her day.

What she looks like...  walking around the house in just a T-shirt and Panties. 

How soft her kisses are.

How wet..her juices are.

How deep...she can take....My dick.

Now its 426 in the morning and all these thoughts of her has Me...  horny as fuck.

Wanting...

Wanting to get her sprung...  so I can have her Mind...Body...and Soul.

Wanting...to spank that ass...till its so hot...steam will come off it.

Wanting to pull her hair...

Wanting to put My hands around her Neck and.....squeeze....as I dig deep....inside her.

I don't know why she's gotten in My Mind like this....

But....its getting stronger...  each time I go to her page...and look at her pics.

I stare so hard....I can almost...smell it.  Taste it.

I imagine waking up in the Morning and she's next to Me.  The room still filled with the sexual "funk"...of the night.  Me licking that musty..well used pussy...

and then getting up and making the best cup of coffee...ever.

Yup....

This Early Morning Madness........

got Me trippin.

I'm about to go look at her again...

turn off this computer...

and in the sweet darkness of the Night....

We will become one.....

in My Mind.

fin.

THINGS I LOVE

Going to the beach and listening to the waves crash on the shore.

Going to the SPCA and looking at the cute puppies.

Watching the Sunset..and being amazed at all the beautiful colors in the sky.

Rolling a nice blunt..and then riding out and robbing an all night liquor store.

Hugging a good friend.

Hearing My daughter say..."I love you Dad."

Talking on the phone with My brother and talking about all the crazy shit we've done in our youth.

Riding on the freeway with all the windows down on a nice summer evening and feeling the breeze against My skin.

Meeting a girl and taking her to My house and ripping her clothes off and after I'm thru with her..sending her home naked and...bruised.

Writing Poetry.

Listening to some nice jazz.

Playing on my XBOX 360.

Cooking some BBQ Ribs and Potato Salad and eating till I can't lay down cause...its uncomfortable.

Kissing a Girl while choking her till I feel her pass out.

Road Trips and stopping at Denny's and having a Grand Slam and some Coffee.

Coffee.

Coffee with some Hot Chocolate in it.

My Bed...with fresh linen on it.

Going to a Female's House and when she gets up to go to the Bathroom....smelling the cushion she was sitting on.

Watching a good Sci-Fi Movie.

A really nice...hot...relaxing shower.

I love...Love.

The Bay Area...especially.....Lake Merritt and Merritt Bakery.  Yummm.

And I really love.....

Fuckin with peoples....Minds. hahaha

TOUCH

I take My hands...and hold your face.

Lips touch.

Your spit...I taste.

I smell the scent thats rising from your skin.

Making heat rise in Me..from deep within.

Touch.

I peer into your eyes...

as My hands...

open your thighs.

Touch.

Lips envelope Nipple.

Finger gives the clit a lil...

tickle.

Touch.

As passion starts to call...

My fingers trace your inner Walls.

Juice flows

You get that lil tingle...in your toes

Touch.

Lips touch clit.

Lubricated by My spit.

Moans escape lips

Touch.

Juices flow to the bed

Hands....gripping My head

Tongue deep in your hole.

Back arches....

Your body looses control.

Touch.

Your Mind goes numb.....

as you fight the urge to.....

Cum.

Fingers grip the sheets...

as your body begins to release....

The room is spinning round and round

Pussy making that....squirting sound.

Orgasm so strong.....

It makes your fuckin Heart...

Pound.

All.....from a lil....

Touch.

Emanuel Chrisentary 11.20.2010

MY LYFE

One day people will See...

That I have the Light of Allah in Me.

They will understand why I am the way I am.

An...Independent....Black Man.


I have Loved from the Deepest depths of My Soul...

Given so much of Myself...

All that is left....is a Dark..Cold...Hole.


If it wasn't for the Love of Allah...

I don't know what I'd do.

So many times things got so hard

I didn't think I'd make it thru.


I depend on Man and Man has always let Me down

Thrown Me in the Sea of Lyfe...

and watched Me drown.


Only to be saved by the Hand.....

of the One who Created Man.


And so....I continue My walk.

Down this road called Lyfe.

Enjoying the Joys.......

Enduring the Strife.


Waiting on that Day...

when this road will end....

and My Journey in the Heavens

will begin.

But...Until that day arrives....

I will continue to bring the Love of Allah

to other Lives.

For I was sent here for a reason.

and I must do what He commands....

I am Emanuel.

A Child of the Most High.

A Living Soul.

A....simple...yet complex

Black

Man.

Emanuel Chrisentary 11.20.2010 

YOU TELL ME....TRUTH? OR SCAM???

Ok....this is how it goes;

Three days ago I was out doing some shopping.  I see this dude I've seen a few time at My old job.  He speaks..and then asks if I want to do some "Security" work on the side. (He still thinks I work for My old Company.)

I say I'm interested....and he gives Me his number and tells Me to call him later and he'll fill Me in on the Details.

Soooo.....I'm thinking.  Call...or don't  Call.   Anygoat....I call.

And this..is what he tells Me;   The Job is at an "Upscale" Gentlemen's Club.(strip club). (Hmmm...Ok.  I can do that. hehe)  The Pay is really good and paid nightly and I work every night except Sundays.  And..its..."foot" friendly kinda work.  But....its "under the table" kinda pay which...concerns Me if this is a "legit" Security agency.

But..keep talkin...

He asks when I can start.  I say..."Friday".  He says he'll call Me back.  15mins later he calls back.  Everything is a go. I got the Job.

Then...he tells Me.....I have to give him $45 dolla for the Uniform.  Now.....check this out:  45 dolla gets Me...;  Shirt...Pant...Baton...mace...and...Boots.   Now....I know My personal gear...two shirts...are like...30 dolla.  So...all that for 45 dolla...is....cheap.  Now..either they have a good deal with a company...or the shit is...cheap.  

Sooo...Dude wants to meet and Me give him the money so he can go get the Uniform.  I'm like....

Don't I need to fill out an application?  He says I'll fill out a paper when I show up for Work.

hmmmm.   Then he says he'll go ahead and get the Uniform and I pay him Thursday(today).  He gets My measurements and then hangs up.  Calls back and says the order is in and everything is set.

I agree.  Then...he gets off the phone.

My brain is turning.  My Mind is calculating.  My lil voice....is whispering.

Today I text him in the morning and tell him I have some things I have to deal with and I'll call him at 6pm to set up a time to meet and get..and pay for the Uniform.  He texts  back saying not to let him down.  Ok...He "may" be...legit.

637p I call.  Everything is still a go.  He tells Me where he wants to Meet to get the Money.  A..."Walmart" parking lot.(wtf????)  I tell him to make sure he brings all he receipts for the uniform and boot purchase...and then....

Shit...gets...shitty smellin.

Since he didn't hear from Me today...he took everything back.  (hmmm. Ok.)

I then ask....exactly who am I working for...since he has failed to mention the Business name.

He tells Me. 

Then I tell him that I am not really...cool with meeting him and giving him MY money and I haven't even talked with the...Boss.  How the fuck do I know I really have the job?  Does He even know My name?  When I show up...who do I talk to and will they know I'm there to work?

He says I'll follow him to the job and he'll do the introductions.

(Naaaa....something ain't....cool bout all this)

I tell him I would feel better talking to the..."Man".  He says he's out of town but will be at the Club tomorrow night.

So....I tell ole boy;  "Talk to the Man tomorrow night and tell him I'm down for working for Him and I'd feel better if I talked with "HIM" and "HE" tells Me I have the job...and I will drive down...and put the 4..5 in HIS hands and "WE"(Boss and I) can work out when I start.

Dude...wasn't really feeling that option.

So....I tell him it goes down like That....or it don't go down cause....I want the Man I'm working for to tell Me...I have the Job...thus...creating an..."agreement"...a...."meeting of the Minds"....a...Contract.

For all I know...I can give dude My money and never see or hear from him again...or better yet...

put on that cheap ass uniform and go up there and the Boss say he don't need anyone...and I'm out of 45 dolla and I now have a cheap ass uniform.

So.....

You tell Me.....

Truth?

or

Scam????


I say.....Scam.   I don't expect to hear from anyone come tomorrow night.

Crazy ass World out there.

All "I" Want

All I want....is Love.

Not...Man's Love.

I want....God's Love.

All I want is Peace.

Not...Man's Peace.

I want...God's Peace.

All I want....is to Live.

All I want...is to Live.

Not Man's Life.

I want...to Live...for God.

All I want...is to Understand.

Not Man's Knowledge.

I want...to Learn the Knowledge given to Me...by the Most High.

All I want....is to have a Home.

Not Man's Home of Wood and Stone.

I want...a Home with He..who created Me.
I want...to Live in His Soul

And the Light of His Love...to Shine around Me.

All I want.

All I need.

Is the Love of the One True God.

Allah.

Emanuel C. 11/6/10

THE STORY OF CALIFORNIA

It was 2002 when I met California.  Dark Chocolate complexion, short and thick...and she had on these tight Jeans that she had..cut up.  Sooo...you could see thick thighs..but also...the chocolate....of the thighs.  It was a pretty nice sight.  We chatted.  Numbers exchanged.  Ok..yeah..she looked a bit young..and when I finally asked..and she told Me..she ended up being quite young.  But...the whole encounter didn't seem to be...."magical" soooo...I didn't take it that serious.  In fact, when I left her...I went to see a female friend of mine and we..."kicked it."

Welllll....the next day California calls.  We chat.  Its a cool convo.  But due to her age...I didn't want to get too...deep...too...nasty.  It was a nice..cool...lil convo. 

It seemed like we talked on the phone damn near every day.  Just..random shit.  Sometimes...nothing much was said.  We'd just..sit on the phone and...breathe. haha.

A few times I would go see her but I basically sat in My truck...and she would stand at the window.  We'd have a short conversation and then..I'm gone.  She always had this problem...looking Me in the eyes.  But..as soon as I got home...she'd call...and we'd have a long convo.  I guess...eye contact made her nervous.

Two years.  TWO...YEARS...of phone conversations and occasional short visits.  Then..one day..out the fuckin blue, California calls and wants Me to pick her up and she wants to come over.  I tell her I'm on the way...but...I don't move.  Don't know why..but I didn't even pick up my keys. I just continued doing whatever I was doing.  She calls again.  We talk.  She again says she wants to come over.  I go.  She comes over.  And...well....things...got......interesting.

Since we never really talked about sex in two years of conversation....it was kinda strange how we just.....connected in that area.

Next thing ya know...she was coming over...damn near every day.  Feelings went from...just phone friends...to something...deeper.

Then one day.....California....ran.  Like...Nike shoes type...ran. 

It kinda hurt Me...and I was confused.  Cause.....I thought...we had a..."thing" goin on.

We had had a convo one day and she told Me I was never gonna go anywhere.  So..it was a trip to Me that she...went somewhere.

So...life goes on.  We talk.  We don't talk.  Its like..off..on..off..on.  Everytime her feelings got deep...California hit that racetrack...and....zoooooom.  Gone.

So....Nov 2004 I leave California.  I go on an adventure that finally lands Me in Georgia.  I keep in contact with California.  She expresses that she's hurt..that I left her.  That I left.....California and I'm not coming back.

We talk.  We don't talk.  I have My relationships....she has Hers.  But...we always...keep in touch.  We always....keep the connection.  And..the conversations...are still..the same.  Basic convo...nothing sexual...just...basic shit about life..and...shit.

And things...are still the same.  We can be cool for a good minute..but once her feelings get strong for Me....California...will run.

Dysfunctional?  Maybe.
Stran-je?  Hells yeah.

But I love the Girl.  Its not a sex....oh the pussy is good kinda Love.  Its not the....I want to Marry Her for life kinda Love.  Its a different type of Love.  Our connection was never based on body fluids and lust.  It was always about....communication.   In all these years...we've spent the night together only twice....and only once out of those two...did we...do the do.

California.  A short, thick, dark skinned, crazy female....that has this spot in My heart that is set in this...special location.  A place that only she can occupy.

So...I tell her about My situation with the impending amputation and next thing I know...she's on her way to see bout Me.  That's sweet.

Can't wait to see her.  Can't wait to just sit....and talk...and laugh....and kinda escape from this World I've been in for the past two Months.

Plus...I get to get my fill of my lil panty fetish cause she loves to wear cute shit and I love watching her walk around in it.  Ohhhh..yeah.

Gotta watch her in the kitchen tho.  Cause...she can burn water....and scortch air. 

And that..is the story of California.

A chance meeting that has lasted....a lifetime.

THERE WAS.....

There was a time when I loved without question. There was a time...when I gave My Heart...like a free gift at a Job Fair.  There was a time..when I took the blame....when Love went wrong.  When I no longer...heard the lyrics of the Love Song.

There was a time...when I was sensitive...and kind.  Looked out for theirs...before I looked out for Mine.

There...was....a...time.  When My eyes...were wide...only...I couldn't see the pain hidden inside.  I was being used...like a Carnival Ride.

But where was the....pink popcorn?

There was a time when I gave all I could.  All I dared.  All I should.

And all that I gave....really wasn't any good.  Cause....they always...wanted....more.

There was a time...now that time is no more.  Everything is bricked up except the Exit Door.
Because I gave My all....and they kept asking for More.

There was a Time.
There was a Time
There was a Time.

There...was.......

Emanuel C.  10/27/10